Kicking off our new Agony Uncle coloumn is this recently recieved letter;
Dear Uncle Jack; I have recently had a falling out with my lady over religion and cutlery let me explain. We have been together for a few years now and we have a lot in common, concern for the environment, Ledd Zeppelin, The Blue oyster Cult and moonlight rituals . Recently she said that she was going on a camping trip sort of girls night out for a few days and asked if she could borrow my Knife. It a real sweet Buck Skinner Model, fixed blade, carbon steel with a walnut grip.
It’s just the thing for slicing buds or blocks of hash up real fine.
So I said "Okay sure" before I discovered that she is going to be using it for one of her Wiccan rituals, I don’t want to be unreasonable but, I feel that I should put my foot down.
Any Advice ?
Concerned Disciple of Thanatos, Eketahuna South
Well D of Thanatos,
I would trust you instincts and refuse. I know she’s going to say that she will look after it and wipe it off after use. But there is no way to be sure that the Mother Goddess and all her initiates aren’t going to be enchanting and menstruating all over it. Then your knife will come back all Creepy and Voodooized. And that is the last thing you want your Hash knife.
I and indeed the whole Spaceman clan remember very well the ghastly events of the Thanksgiving of ’94 when I unwisely attempted to carve the festive turkey with a 19th century cavalry Saber that I had used in a Necromantic summoning only one moon previous. The rest of that night was something I would prefer to forget, it took 3 men to get it all down the waste master. Ever since then I have followed a hard and fast rule.
All tools used for Thaumaturgic, Surgical or Divination purposes are to be kept separate from others and used for that purpose only.
So if you want to avoid trouble with your old lady you could let her use the knife then make her a present of it and never touch it again.
Hope that helps
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