The African Anti-Ninja

Those who neither walk like a Ninja Nor Quack like a Ninja are no Ninja even though their name be Ninja

Spaceman Jack

Book of Dee Chp.3 Vs.9

More troubling news reaches our ears from Zimbabwe.
The nation’s economic situation is dire and many citizens are close to revolt.
One group that has been taking part in or will soon take part in the suppression of demonstrations is a black clad paramilitary Goon Squad called "The Ninjas".
At least 500 and up to 3000 Ninja warriors have been deployed from Angola into neighboring Zimbabwean territory. According to Jan Raath, the Times corespondent in Harare their reputation is not to be admired,

They patrol in pickup trucks, with mounted heavy machine-guns, and are notorious for their violence. "Angolans are terrified of them," an Angolan resident said.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/africa/article1550900.ece

These Ninja will reinforce President Mugabe’s own over stretched riot control forces. These thugs have been breaking up meetings, evicting residents of seized property and generally beating up opponents of President Mugagbe.
One thing that has always impressed me about Ninja is their code of ethics.
Among some Ninja clans they maybe more of a series of loose guidelines rather than a rigid code, but still they separate a wannabe Ninja from a true Ninja. They separate a fighter from a goon, a killer from an animal, maybe even a killer from a murderer.
Part of the Ninja style is that they were always the little people, the one that everybody ignored, peasants or lower caste laborers. You past them in the street everyday, they are around you all the time. They are the people doing the myriad little tasks that make things work. The difference between a Ninja and a everyday Joe is that they were they one who sharpened up their sickles, stole out at night and fought back against the man.
Any Ninja participation in the suppression of the common people must be considered a violation of this code. The Ninja have their bare hands, a few simple work a-day tools, sticks, rope maybe some small knives. It’s the Lords and Masters who come smashing down on the houses of the common folk with eviction orders and the Bailiffs.You don’t send a hundred Ninja to break up a political rally and bust some heads, any pack of Meatheads with a cudgels can do that. Ninja are silent and invisible, even if you detect them you, it will be after they are gone. A Ninja would carefully and cleanly dispose of the leaders of a rebellious organization and leave the others alive.
The actions of these so called Ninjas are a disgrace, not only to their fellow citizens but to all true Ninja.
They are the exact opposite of all that Ninja stand, fight, climb and sneak around for.
They are the Anti Ninja.
I therefore call on all like minded citizen, Type1 Humanoids and friends of Ninja-kind every were to support my petition to the Grandmasters of High Council of Shadows to have the Zimbabwean Ninja suspended from the commonwealth of Ninjas and their names struck from the Ninja roll.
Petition forms and Proxy Voting ballots will be distributed in the usual manner.

Bob Woolmer, Ninja Assassination ?

"If it walks like a Ninja and Quacks like a Ninja then it is a Ninja"

Spaceman Jack Dee

Book of Dee Chp. 3 Vs. 8

It has now been more than a week since the death of Bob Woolmer, former international cricket coach in the Pegasus Hotel Jamaica.
He was a man who I never met and was never likely to.
The world of international sports holds little fascination for me and the small part of that world which international Cricket occupies holds even less.
I was vaguely aware of the fact there must have been a coach of the Pakistani international cricket team, but I had no idea who that person might have been.
For me the most fascinating part of Bob Woolmer’s life was how it ended.
After initially confused reports about natural causes some facts are now clear, Bob Woolmer was murdered by manual asphyxiation in his hotel room and nobody has been arrested for this crime.
It's quite startling that a guest should be murdered in their suite in a hotel, where the security must have been high enough to meet the demands of a sporting event where nations such as India and Pakistan are present. But now the perpetrator ( singular or plural ) has disappeared and the witnesses and suspects continue to disperse around the globe.
In the hope of nothing other than stirring debate I will now put forth my opinions on the likely scenario that led to the Coach’s demise.
The use of strangulation is an interesting choice for murder, few people have the desire or confidence to attack a grown man with their bare hands ( even though Woolmer was 58 and corpulent he looked capable of defending himself ), that is if their motive was murder.
Tensions must have been running high after the team’s shock defeat to Ireland. After a few drinks a confrontation with fisticuffs would not have been out of the question. But if the attacker had fatal intentions they surely would have gone to the trouble with arming themselves with some sort of weapon, even if only a bludgeon.
The lack of a clear suspect, that is some body who freely admits to being in Woolmer’s room that evening and accosting him lead me to deduce that it was a premeditated attack.
But that leaves us with the premeditated of an international figure, in a high security zone, by an unarmed and unknown assailant who has (so far) eluded detection, identification and capture,
namely

A Ninja

All the element are there for a classic assassination with a carefully planned and executed assassination. With the correct disguise a team or staff uniform a trained Ninja could infiltrate the hotel and enter the coaches room. A good looking woman would have little difficulty enter the hotel even late at night, although this may be a little too high profile, pretty girls are easily remembered.
Then its just a matter of the precise details of the death.
Was it an ambush or did the assassin talk to him before the fatal moment ( pretty girl ) ? crucial to my theory is the exact method of "Manual Strangulation" as that rather judicious term used by the Police can mean a lot of slightly different things.
The classic "Japanese Sleeper Hold" compresses the arteries either side of the neck to produce first unconsciousness, then if the pressure is held for too long, Death.
If Hyoid bone of the neck are broken then this would tend to count against the Ninja explanation as this shows a degree of force applied to the front of the neck. But if there is no damage or only some bruising to the larynx then the theory fits.

I would not be too difficult for a trained Ninja to administer this "Big Sleeper Hold" especially if the coach was under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Without any other clues to the contrary it could appear like natural causes. Which is exactly how it was first reported. Only later more detailed examination revealed foul play.
As for Motive there appears to be no shortage. There are hundreds millions of dollars in dirty money flowing around the world of sports gambling, with a few very dirty customers attached to it. Examine the case of the late Hansie Cronjie. That loss to Ireland a few hours previous would have meant millions won or lost.
Did he betray his partners ? was he betrayed by them ?, I cannot say but I can say this much
Before this cases is cracked I am sure that a lot of very interesting facts and dark secrets will emerge from the world of International cricket and the unfortunate Bob Woolmer may not be its only victim.

Links

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Woolmer

The Flight of the Choncords

" You may not know this but in New Zealand we are actually quite famous"


Rating: 5 Ninja stars * * * * *

While they humbly refer to themselves as New Zealand’s third or fourth most popular Folk Comedy Novelty duo they are by far the most original, funny and unashamedly Kiwi entertainers since John Clarke became an Ozzie.
These dudes have had some good coverage recently appearing on our own glorious National Radio and beloved TV3. both world famous media giants within New Zealand. But expect to hear much more of them soon as some sort of TV series is happening.

For those who have not been introduced Jermain Clements & Brett Mc Kenzie basically play the characters of Brett & Jermain, dedicated but naive acoustic folk singers.
Their deadpan style is balanced with a delicate wit. Their songs are not just crude platforms for a stand up comedy routine each of the songs actually work as a real song should .
Some of my Personal favorites and tracks you might enjoy ;

'The Humans are Dead'
Inspired by and designed for a post Apocalyptic Robo-world where the human race has become extinct. A real rarity among post modern music it tries to see the situation from the Robot’s point of view.

"Bowie"
Here the boys really try to get under the Sequined Spacesuit of the grooviest of the Glam Rock Astronauts, David Bowie. circa 1973.

"She’s so Hot Boom !"
Turning up the power of the synthetic guitar & beatbox this number whips up the sweaty crowd on the dance floor with a wickedly hilarious spoof of Shaggy and his Jamaican home town crew

Links to the real deal

http://www.conchords.co.nz/

other Fan sites

http://www.whatthefolk.net/

http://www.conchords.net/

Kiwi Music Review

The last few years, indeed the last decade at least has seen a massive growth in Kiwi Art of all kinds, and in all manner of genres and styles.
What causes the introspective and isolated British colonials of last generation to become the proud and imaginative citizens of a New Pacific ? it’s difficult to say, a rediscovery of Pakeha uniqueness a general renaissance in Te Reo and Maori Tanga and many more things besides.
Included in this surge of quality and quantity is Cinema, Literature, Dance and Drama. But I feel that it is Kiwi Music that has gained the most from this new surge of enthusiasm, and so I will start with Kiwi music

As this Blog continues I feel the urge to branch out a little into the artistic realm, to offer the Blogosphere some of my perspective on some of the Artistic and Aesthetic Phenomena I have encountered.

In order to maintain my critical objectivity from the Media Moguls and because Spaceman Jack is a firm believer in Piracy I will neither buy albums (except if they are incredibly cheap), nor will I accept them free as gifts (except if they are from or by some I really like).
I may also steal a few things (except if the security is like way too tight and I might get busted).

Sea Monsters

"Are we getting closer or are they getting bigger ?"

This week New Zealand’s national museum Te Papa took possession of the frozen but very recent remains of a gigantic Sea Monster.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6453997.stm

The preserved remains of the deep sea monster will provide human scientist some of their best clues yet to unravel some of the many mysteries and questions of this bizarre life form Questions such as,
Where do they live ? What do they eat ? Are they actually getting bigger ? and perhaps the important question
How can we defeat them ?

They remains of such giant squid species like Mesonychoteuthis_hamiltoni have been recovered many times but always in poor condition. Most often mutilated in Sperm whale’s stomachs or decomposed washed up on shore.
Out of their normal medium of the high pressure depths of the ocean, the tissues of these creatures soon disintegrates when it comes to the surface.

The first picture is a rather well preserved example found by British scientists on the shore of the Ross sea in 2000. Low temperatures slow decomposition but the researcher were lucky to find it before scavengers did.
Note the Human to scale, this creature is about 2 meters long. But a dead specimen washed up on shore doesn’t really give a really impression of the speed and power they have underwater.
The second picture is a frame from some of the first ever video taken of these mysterious beasties by Japanese researchers in 2006.


The inky darkness gives no frame of reference so its virtually impossible to get a true idea of the size of this creature
It could be 3 feet away and a 20 kg cephalopod excellent for seafood treats, Calamari perhaps, or it could be 30 yards away and a 500kg monster, suitable for sucking the rivets out of a nuclear submarine.
In which case dinner is on you.

I think that the public must now be told the truth. Few will be ready for it but will be made ready by leaking stories such as this one through the Blogosphere. All these creatures are basically of the same species, encountered at different times of their life cycle. But recently the past 40 years or so they have been getting progressively larger in order to challenge man’s dominion over planet earth. Who knows how many lives they have claimed already ?
Many have disappeared in the Ross sea never to be seen or heard of again, fishermen mostly.
Just imagine the scene, as the crew of the steel hulled trawler haul the Monster up in the nets the creatures endeavors to drag them all down to the sunless depths.
We already know the basic squid and then later we discovered the Giant Squid, later on we get the Colossal Squid.
They are adapting to counter the human threat (and to fulfill ancient prophecies).
How much longer will it be before we encounter the Ginormous Squid and then the Humungous Squid and then Gods grace protect us
Cthulhu itself.

Later on Spaceman Jack;

Japanese Whalers, Friend or Foe ?

as the threat posed to New Zealand by Giant sea Monsters grow, what part does the mysterious Japanese Whaling fleet have to play ?

Cthulhu Rises Yet again

Just when you thought that it was safe to venture into the fridgid water off the Sunken city of R'yeath.
These Cthulhuoid creature sighting have become much more common lately as human population pressures drive the fishing crews further and deeper.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/2910849.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4288772.stm

Sending a message to all of my Friends

All of those readers who are familiar with the New Zealand political scene will how of course be well aware of Sue Bradford’s bill currently before the House.

To amend the something or other ? Actually its to repeal the defense of reasonable force in order to stop kiddies being beaten.
Exactly what it is supposed to achieve and exactly what it will achieve are two different things
Forgive me if I am a little vague on the details but I think that Ms Bradford believes that there is an undiscovered crime going unpunished.
Apparently none of the good parents will be harmed, prosecuted or harassed by social workers due to this new piece of legislation.
Only bad parents, for the evil doers have anything to fear from the righteous.
It would also appear to that only the amending of legislation could possibly save these children.
This is an all to typical example of the extreme left. They are mistaking symbolic action for effective action. Through their longs years of political protest many of the current batch of Left leaning MP have acquired some sort of monomania on "sending messages"
not real messages of course, such as "pick up more bread’ but vague metaphysical message from the community in general to nobody
in particular.

"We are sending a message that child abuse is no longer acceptable"

"We are sending a message to the Zimbabwean government "

"We are sending a message to all the green house gas emitters"

Who listens to theses messages ? Anybody who is likely to be swayed in their personal beliefs and then change their behaviors is not going to be persuaded by an act of parliament
Particularly not one of this sort. The law is meant to guide and direct behavior, to set specific limits, rewards and punishment, boundaries both literal and social.
If you want to send a message you the Email, newspapers Internet and all the other tools of Mass communication and propaganda.

I(f one is to be fair to the LabourClark administration, they have proved themselves masters of the new Propaganda )

What you should never do is start using Legislation to send messages.
We use Legislation to Build damns, declare war, raise taxes and burn heretics, not to send vague messages that everybody has already heard and those who need to hear it wont be listening anyway

There are no abusive parents in New Zealand who cannot be adequately dealt with by existing laws whether they be of the formal or traditional variety.
The current batch of Green MPs are actually sending messages for no other persons benefit than themselves

Spaceman Jack